Day 134

So sorry I didn't post last night. To be completely honest, it wouldn't have been anything worth reading anyway! Last night I decided to do a "cleanse" again. There is a lady in our church who is brilliant when it comes to health and fitness, and she came up with a plan and gave it to one of my friends. She didn't make it up, lol, but she wrote it all out for her, who in turn, gave it to me. I did it for 6 days about a month ago, and then stopped because life got crazy. I really want to give it another shot, for the whole 12 days. I know that this won't "cure me of my sugar craving" or even close to get me to my goal weight. I just feel like I've been in such a funk lately and that I'm stuck in a tornado of sweets and carbs and I can't stop! For example, the other day I went to go babysit and there were chocolate chip scones on the counter. Mind you, this is 7am. Without even thinking, "Do I really want this? Is this going to help me feel good later? Is it taking a step towards getting to my goal weight?" like I should have, I just go and eat two. Now, if I was good, I would have stopped there and realized, "Ok, I'm not going to throw away the whole day now because of that choice. It's only 7am, I still have the whole day to change my mindset!" But did I do that? Not in a million years. The rest of the day was filled with Teddy Grahams, grilled cheese on white bread, and even a chocolate chip cookie from Wegmans that night. ( AMAZING by the way! :-) That seems to be how every day has been going, so I need some detoxing. For some reason, I am all or nothing when it comes to eating. I can't enjoy things in moderation. Either I tell myself - "You are not allowed ANY sugar" or when I even have one cookie....it turns into a whole day of indulgences. If I could figure out how to change my mindset, I'd probably be skinny in no time! HA! I don't feel like I am a perfectionist in any other area of my life, but when it comes to that, I am. With all that being said, I feel like I need to be super, super strict for a couple of weeks and hopefully get my mindset in a good place. If going to Florida isn't motivation enough, I just found out I am going to a cousin's wedding in October where I will be seeing family members that I haven't seen in 10 years. Yup...last time I saw them I was 18 and skinny. I would rather not TOTALLY scare them off with the changes in the past decade! :-)

I won't explain the whole cleanse right now, but the first 3 days are just fruits and veggies. That's it. I do have some protein powder in my fruit smoothie in the morning though just because I need at least need some protein to get me through the day. I also will dip my veggies in some salad dressing if I need to. Again, I'm only doing it with myself, lol, so I'm adapting it how I need to. Today is day one for it, and I'm not going to lie....I'm starving. The good thing is, it's only 3 days and then it switches up.  Hopefully I will be back tomorrow!

Day one of cleanse weight - 209