Day 124

Sorry I have been MIA for the past few days. I can say up until day 125 I was doing great. Right on track and feeling wonderful! Then yesterday happened. Between PMS and something that really upset me happening, I turned to food. I had a binge fest from 3pm till bedtime. I woke up this morning with such resolve to turn it around, but again I failed. The sad thing is, it can take me 9 days to lose 5 pounds, and only 2 to put it all back on. I'm not going to weigh myself tomorrow morning, but am going to try, yet again, to get back on track. I know in life that I'm going to have slip ups, but I need to learn how to brush it off, and just get back to it. That is where I struggle the most. I have no problem doing good for a week, two weeks, sometimes even a month, but it's like as soon as I have one "bad" meal, it turns into a month of bad meals before I can get it together! I really need to get that figured out, and I tell you, I would be skinny! :-)
 
  The one thing I can tell you from eating bad yesterday and today is I feel like CRAP! I wish there was a nicer word to explain it, but it is the truth! I'm so bloated, and I feel sick from all the nasty carbs I've eaten. As hard as eating low carb is, I feel amazing when I am doing it. Even if the scale isn't going down as fast as I would like it to be, my stomach feels flatter, and just my overall feeling is different. I need to get back at it.

  On Thursday I am going away with my dad to a baseball tournament to selling baseball equipment. It is going to be one of the most challenging weekends for me, for sure. We will be at a baseball field, surrounded by every burger joint, sub place, hot dog stand, ice cream and fried dough, and homemade lemon ice place you can imagine. And since my dad buys my food when we go away, I can't even use money as an excuse. AHHHH! To top it all off, I will have my cycle which is always when I struggle the most and my motivation is at an all time low. I am going to need prayers like no one's business for those four days. I don't want to let go and gain 5-6 pounds in a weekend. I need to start again tomorrow and get in a good mindset leading up to then. Pray for me! Hope you all have a great weekend!

Day 129

Hey all! Sorry for the lull this weekend. Believe it or not, I wasn't ignoring blogging because I was doing bad, I was just busy. It always is busier when my hubby is home. Anyway, overall I feel like I did really great this weekend. I "cheated" a little bit and had beans with my burger at a picnic, but I said no to all the yummy pasta salads and the homemade chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cake made by my sister in law. Yeah, like homemade cookie dough crust and everything. I feel like I am getting into a good groove, yet everyday is still so challenging for me to find healthy things to eat and to not eat the unhealthy things. I feel like once I get under 200 I will get a whole new sense of motivation to keep going and get lower than I've been since I've had Benny. I weighed 205.2 this morning, so almost 4 pounds off since last Wednesday, and I'm pretty happy about that. I did make the mistake yesterday and bought salted cashews and they had vegetable oil in them too. It was not on purpose, obviously, cause I would never choose the extra fat, but I didn't realize it. Of course they taste AMAZING so I have eaten too many of those yesterday and today. Thankfully, my kids loved them too, so I made them finish them this afternoon so I don't have to resist them tomorrow! :-) I have been relying on protein shakes for at least one meal each day it seems. It helps to be able to grab something when I'm at work and everyone else is eating pizza instead of praying I can make it home to make something healthy for me without diving into the pizza box! I think it really has helped me this past week. I'm hoping to get all 4 days of my work out class in this week too, so they should push me! Next week is my TOM, so I won't work out and my motivation always goes out the window, so I'm trying to get revved up before then to try to make it through! Pray for me! Until tomorrow peeps ;-)

Day 132

Hey Staci and Julie! LOL, my two people that read this! :-) I made it through the 3 days....barely. I had some more peanut butter than I would have liked today, but I was SO hungry all day, and I needed protein. I'm so excited to eat eggs in the morning! Who would have thought I would miss them so much! :-) Basically the next 3 days is low carb, high fat and no fruit. Today is the first day I was feeling pretty motivated to just keep going and lose this weight. I don't know how long it will last, lol, but I'm going to ride this train as long as I can! :-) Long day so I am off to bed!

Day 133

Ok, so I'm posting to keep myself from running to the kitchen and eating everything in sight! Seriously, I am STARVING!! I guess the hardest thing for me with this 3 days of fruits and veggies, is that I don't really like salads! Well, I take that back....I love salads with cheese, croutons, bacon, and other goodies drenched in Hidden Valley Ranch....just not the salad that I would have to eat without any of that and just plain veggies. I'm not a vegetable lover in general. I try to be, really I do, but I'm the type of person that always has great intentions and will buy a huge bag of salad, and then it will end up going bad. :-( So today I ended up having a protein shake for breakfast AND dinner and then had a bunch of fruits and veggies throughout the day along with a few bites of natural peanut butter. I'm so glad that tomorrow is my last day of doing this before I can move on and have other food! I would give anything for some scrambled eggs right now! :-) Hope you all had a great day!

Day 134

So sorry I didn't post last night. To be completely honest, it wouldn't have been anything worth reading anyway! Last night I decided to do a "cleanse" again. There is a lady in our church who is brilliant when it comes to health and fitness, and she came up with a plan and gave it to one of my friends. She didn't make it up, lol, but she wrote it all out for her, who in turn, gave it to me. I did it for 6 days about a month ago, and then stopped because life got crazy. I really want to give it another shot, for the whole 12 days. I know that this won't "cure me of my sugar craving" or even close to get me to my goal weight. I just feel like I've been in such a funk lately and that I'm stuck in a tornado of sweets and carbs and I can't stop! For example, the other day I went to go babysit and there were chocolate chip scones on the counter. Mind you, this is 7am. Without even thinking, "Do I really want this? Is this going to help me feel good later? Is it taking a step towards getting to my goal weight?" like I should have, I just go and eat two. Now, if I was good, I would have stopped there and realized, "Ok, I'm not going to throw away the whole day now because of that choice. It's only 7am, I still have the whole day to change my mindset!" But did I do that? Not in a million years. The rest of the day was filled with Teddy Grahams, grilled cheese on white bread, and even a chocolate chip cookie from Wegmans that night. ( AMAZING by the way! :-) That seems to be how every day has been going, so I need some detoxing. For some reason, I am all or nothing when it comes to eating. I can't enjoy things in moderation. Either I tell myself - "You are not allowed ANY sugar" or when I even have one cookie....it turns into a whole day of indulgences. If I could figure out how to change my mindset, I'd probably be skinny in no time! HA! I don't feel like I am a perfectionist in any other area of my life, but when it comes to that, I am. With all that being said, I feel like I need to be super, super strict for a couple of weeks and hopefully get my mindset in a good place. If going to Florida isn't motivation enough, I just found out I am going to a cousin's wedding in October where I will be seeing family members that I haven't seen in 10 years. Yup...last time I saw them I was 18 and skinny. I would rather not TOTALLY scare them off with the changes in the past decade! :-)

I won't explain the whole cleanse right now, but the first 3 days are just fruits and veggies. That's it. I do have some protein powder in my fruit smoothie in the morning though just because I need at least need some protein to get me through the day. I also will dip my veggies in some salad dressing if I need to. Again, I'm only doing it with myself, lol, so I'm adapting it how I need to. Today is day one for it, and I'm not going to lie....I'm starving. The good thing is, it's only 3 days and then it switches up.  Hopefully I will be back tomorrow!

Day one of cleanse weight - 209

Day 136

Just wanted to check in quickly before I go to bed. I had a rough, rough weekend eating wise. My brother got married, I had a garage sale AND I housed 4 family members for the weekend. With all the craziness going on, I didn't take the time to count calories, and ate things that were convienent and on hand, instead of taking the extra time to make healthy choices. Dumb, I know, but it is what it is. I didn't even weigh myself today, but I'm sure I'm back up to 210 or even higher. Sigh....I can lose and gain my initial 5-6 pounds in like 3 days. I thought this morning I was going to be all motivated and "kill it", but I didn't! :-( I'm telling you, sugar is a DRUG!! After eating so much of it yesterday, it was literally almost impossible to stay away from it today. I feel so huge and gross and I hate it. Tomorrow I will get up and go to my exercise class, and hope it will start off my day well and help me make good choices with food. Hope I can report back tomorrow with better news.

Day 142

I'm going to warn you, this is going to be short! I'm exhausted from getting up at 5:30 for 2 days in a row and then working all day...I am NOT a morning person to say the least. Hopefully getting the workout in though will aid me in my weight loss, and then it will be worth it!

I feel I did really great eating today! I ate almost the same exact thing as yesterday, except I ended up having a protein drink for dinner. I just didn't feel like eating anything that I had packed, so I had that instead. I'm not going to lie...it's 9:45 and I am physically STARVING! Like, I can hear my stomach growling, starving! I'm going to try to go to bed and ignore it! :-)

Good news...I was down today! As long as it keeps going in that direction...I will be happy!

Starting weight - 210
Today's weight - 208.2

Day 143

Hello Everyone! ( aka myself and 2 friends! :-) I'm starting this blog mainly for myself, just to keep track of my journey. The name of this blog came from the fact that I had 150 days until I left for our month long Florida vacation in November. Of course, last week was crazy, and I didn't post at all, so therefore it is only 143 days now! I'm going to try to post each day, even if it is something little, along with my daily weight. I know it probably isn't the best idea for some people to weigh every day, but it seems to keep me more accountable, so I'm going to stick with it!

  Today was "day one" yet again for me. I joined a workout class that is every morning at 6am and I'm hoping to do it 4 days a week. I haven't been in a good workout routine for so long, and I'm sure that is part of my struggle with losing weight. It is going to be hard though, I have to admit. I'm working 4 days a week this summer for 8-9 hour days, so waking up at 5:30am, being gone all day with the kids, coming home and trying to catch up on stuff, putting the kids to bed, etc, is going to be rough! I need to try to make myself go to bed early every night so I don't burn out too quickly.

 Basically what I am doing, eating wise, is using My Fitness Pal to count calories, while also trying to up my protein and really lower my carbs. I don't like to lower carbs too much, but I also know that I don't need to be eating bread for every meal haha. Today I had eggs and bacon for breakfast, and chicken salad on a low carb wrap for lunch AND dinner. LOL! I was at work and so that is what I had, besides homemade macaroni cheese, which was probably not a good choice! For snacks I had a cheese stick and some celery with natural peanut butter. I feel like I did a pretty good job and I drank a TON of water. Hopefully tomorrow will go as well!

My starting weight was 210 today. ( GULP ) Hoping the first 5-6 will come off fast! :-)